PLUS! — Friday. June 30. 1989 — 9
IiY TY BUTtR
 Beyond the Valley of the Couch Potatoes lies a realm of movies devoid of any redeeming social, intellectual or artistic value.
by VIDEO REVIEW MAGAZINE
he roughly 20 years each of us spends in the educational system sets our responses to summer. What has this got to do with renting videotapes? In'the summer, one tends to go for the most pandering cassette packages, regardless of plot, dialogue and characterizations.
   The movies listed alphabetically here are not all drive-in wonders; some are even art-house faves that just look, er, different with your brain turned off during the summer months.
   Alligator (Lightning, 1980) — A little girl flushes a baby gator down the pipes, 20 years later it's chewing up sewer workers.
   Assault of the Killer Bimbos
(Urban Classics, 1988) — This one’s directed by a woman, so the title bimbi are accorded respect.
   Beat the Devil (RCA/Columbia, 1953) — This stars Humphrey Bogart; the joke is, there's no plot.
   Better Off Dead (KEY, 1985) — This is a genuinely funny movie, graced with John Cusack in his snidest role and Dianne (The Last American Virgin) Franklin as a French exchange student.
   Blood Beach (Media, 1981) — A rubber monster preys on unsuspecting bathers.
   Breathless (Vestron, 1983) — Jean Luc Godard says he wants to colorize his original, so until then watch this remake, which is dum-dum California cool.
   Cherry 2000 (Orion, 1983) — Melanie Griffith plays a futuristic bounty hunter who
helps a wimp find a replacement for his rare sex robot.
   Corvette Summer (MGM/UA, 1979) — Everyone expected Mark Hamill to become a megastar after Star Wars, but his follow-up is this piffle about a guy, a gal and a really neat car.
   Dune (MCA, 1984) — This movie bombed in theatres because everybody missed the point. It’s a deadpan goof If you watch it on that level, it’s hilarious.
   Evil Dead 2 (Vestron, 1987) — No point in watching Evil Dead 1 now: They remade the damn thing with a bigger budget
   Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! (RM
Films, 1966) — Killer gals tangle with stu-pin guys on a deserted ranch.
   Forbidden Zone (Media, 1980) — Imagine Alice in Wonderland married to Cab Calloway in Frank Zappa's basement and you’ll get the sensibilities at work here.
   Fraternity Vacation (New World. 1985) — Your basic Porky’s rip-off and perfect when Hot to Trot seems too intellectual.
   Frogs (Warner, 1972)— Remember the poster art for this one? Big frog with a human hand sticking out of its mouth? Well, the movie's not as good, but it ain't bad either.
   Get Crazy (Nelson, 1983) — Hilarious, sweet, fast, great movie about a New Year's concert.
   The Howling (Nelson, 1981) and its sequels — A series notable for having each installment filmed on a different continent.
   International House (MCA, 1933) — Nutzoid no-plot comedy that doesn't make a lick of sense.
   The Lady in Red (Vestron, 1979) — The best thing here is Bob "Eveready"
Conrad, who plays John Dillinger.
   L’Annee des Meduses (Euro-Ameri-can, 1984) — Basically The Bad Seed on a topless beach with hormones.
   The Last Dragon (CBS/Fox, 1985) — A.k.a. Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon, fast and cheerful kung-fu/blaxploitation cartoon nonsense.
   Live a Little, Love a Little
(MGM/UA, 1968) — Gotta have an Elvis flick. This one's from the late '60s, when his popularity was slipping.
   Masquerade (CBS/Fox, 1988) — Meg Tilly's a poor little Easthampton rich girl Rob Lowe's the handsome boat boy who beds and weds and maybe wants to kill her.
   Ms. 45 (IVE, 1981) — No-budget "feminist” vigilante flick that has inspired a lot of windy analysis.
   O.C. & Stlggs (Key, 1985) — This follows two teen-age pranksters around Phoenix and, now and then, bumps its head on the occasional piece of plot.
   Point Blank (MGM/UA, 1967) — Lee Marvin is a back-from-the-dead gunsel looking for revenge in 1960s Los Angeles.
   Psych-Out (HBO, 1968) — Classic Hollywood hippies-on-acid movie is the best of its lysergic genre.
   Q-The Winged Serpent (MCA, 1982)
— Q is a big ugly Aztec diety that swoops down to decapitate sunbathers.
   Quadrophenia (RCA/Columbia, 1979)
— This is about a young mod kid in 60s England at the Brighton mod-vs.-rocker youth riots.
   Saturday Night Fever (Paramount, 1977) — The reason this is one for the archaeologists is the whole disco-equals-personal-expression spiel.
   Scanners (Nelson, 1981) — A David Cronenberg exploding-heads opus from
the early 1980s, after he got competent and before he got pretentious.
   Shack Out on 101 (Republic, 1955)
— Lee Marvin's a lecherous commie cook named Slob, Terry Moore thrusts her breasts out at every palooka in sight, and Keenan Wynn does calisthenics on a diner countertop.
   Shock Corridor (Henwood, 1963) — Sleazy journalist Peter Breck gets himself committed to a mental instirution to solve a murder but goes buggy himself.
   Starstruck (Nelson, 1982) — A lumpy teen-age singer and her sardonic cousin bop around Sydney.
   Summer Camp Nightmare (Nelson, 1987) — Teenage camp counselors set up a “free society."
   Summer School (Paramount, 1987)
   This lightweight, enjoyable comedy from Carl Reiner is about as nourishing as cotton candy.
   The Thing (MCA, 1982) — John Carpenter’s remake; the first one didn't show you anything.
   The Time Machine (MGM/UA, i960)
— A cool adventure that's great for late-July family viewing
   Top Secret (Paramount, 1984) — Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker followed Airplane! with this spoof of Elvis flicks.
   Used Cars (RCA/Columbia, 1980) — This one's completely rude, crass and hilarious, with a brutal script, cute dog and killer direction by Bob Zemeckis.
   Videodrome (MCA, 1983) — James Woods is a cable-TV programer who tumbles to a weird snuff show that causes viewers to hallucinate.
(c) 1989, Vlado Magazine/ Washington Post Wrttara Group