THE FREE PRESS PEOPLE DECEMBER 3, 1995 A13 Give your kids a chance to grow-up By now most people will be familiar with the case of Matthew Vaudreuil who, after suffering abuse and neglect at the hands of his mother for almost six years, was suffocated to death by her in 1992. Similar stories are encountered, it seems, almost every day. Such as the case of Jeffrey Hill. Jeffrey was brought to hospital one night suffering from hypothermia and bearing a cut to his forehead, the seriousness of which the attending doctor says he has never seen caused by accident. Six months later Jeffrey Hill returned to the hospital. This time he was dead. And then there was the couple in New Brunswick who were apparently unable to “bond” with their son. They bound and gagged him, locked him in a room, and starved him until he literally lost the will to live. Have a great time & Support 74 Local Charities at PRINCE GEORGE S PREMIER BINGO COLOSSAL PAY *AII Charities of The GoodTime Bingo Association endeavor to pay maximum prize payout of $7,500 subject to attendance. 7-DAYS-A-WEEK Monday to Friday 11:45 a.m. • 6:45 p.m. • 10:00 p.m. •Friday 10:15 p.m. Saturday *12:45 p.m. • 6:45 p.m • 10:15 p.m. •Bonanza Pre Call 30 Minutes Earlier Sunday *12:45 p.m. • 6:45 p.m. < 10:15 p.m. •Bonanza Pre Call 30 Mtnutes Earlier GOODTIME BINGO mi 490 Vancouver Street I Charity Line 562-9224j BABY MAKES 3 Cam McApline He weighed twenty-one pounds when he died at the age of three. My son, Eli, weighs twenty-one pounds. He’s seven-months old. What the hell makes people do things like this? We all have violent impulses at times The demands of parenting - for instance, a constantly crying baby - are enough to irritate just about anybody. There were times early on, as my partner, Carlene, and I were adjusting to our new roles as parents, when it would be four o’clock in the morning and Eli would be inconsolable and we hadn’t had more than a couple of hours’ sleep all night and we would get frustrated. Sometimes I almost wanted to try to “shake some sense” into him. There were even times when I could picture myself throwing him against a wall or something. And that scared me. If you’re a typical parent - and not a saint - you’ll know what I’m talking about. These fleeting impulses toward violence are normal. Most of us, though, never reach the point of real violence. The important thing is to remind yourself that you’re not mad at the baby; you’re mad at the situation. For some people, however, the frustration finally becomes more than they can bear. Sometimes the result is child abuse. And I don’t care what your justification is -there’s no excuse for hurting a defenceless child. 8th & Ahbau (Beside Spruceland Subway) 563-3444 PRICES IN EFFECT UNTIL FRIDAY, DEC. 9, 1995 CABBAGE ROLLS CANNELLONI MINI SAUSAGE ROLLS 88 "Made by Jeffrey's by the Calgary Italian Bakery” 7 1.6 kg Approx 40 pcs. BACON WRAPPED FILETS Mirabel SHRIMP CRISPS Lightly breaded and fully cooked HEAT & SERVE 6x6 oz "Selected Cuts of aged beef tenderloin APPLE PIE Large 10" Made - * MfOO ^ 1177: A lbTrjy jSpy 88 1250 g FREE HOME STORE HOURS: DELIVERY MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 9-6 —» on orders THURSDAY & FRIDAY 9-9 mmmm over $100.0(1 SATURDAY 9-6, SUNDAY 11-5 jig**! A lot of questions were raised by the report from the Gove inquiry into Matthew Vaudreuil’s death, which insists that he died because the provincial child protection system forgot how to protect children. That’s part of it, sure. But the most fundamental question, in my mind, hasn’t even been asked yet, and that is, what kind of a society have we become that we have to protect children from their own parents? Let’s suppose for an instant that there were no such things as social welfare and government-run child protection agencies. Let’s suppose a community had to depend on itself and the individuals who were part of it to ensure the safety and well-being of its members. Who’s really responsible then? Number one, of course, is the parent. Number two is the community of which that parent is a part. It takes courage to take responsibility for one’s own actions. It takes courage to offer support to others and, where it is rejected, to blow the whistle on abusive relationships. But if we want our communities to be peopled by children who don’t live in fear of their own parents and who grow into healthy adults, we must have the courage to take on the responsibility of caring for—not hurting—our children, of looking beyond ourselves, and offering help to our friends and neighbours. One last word. As a parent, if your violent impulses are more than fleeting, if you feel that you are truly capable of hurting your baby in any way, get help immediately, before it’s too late Your family, and friends are sources of support, as is the PG Crisis and Information Centre. Their number is 563-1214, and they will help you get the help you need. They are also the people to contact for advice if you suspect that someone you know is abusing their child. And if you are a child who is being abused, you can call the emergency Child Abuse Hotline. Dial ‘0’ and ask for Zenith 1-2-3-4. 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