A10 THE FREE PRESS COMMENT DECEMBER 5, 1996 No bells, no whistles, no bull - how to sell She was late twenties, wearing jeans and a rough shirt and with no makeup on a plain face. There was no winsome smile, she had a big potato in one hand. She held it up. “I am selling potatoes”, she said. “My father grew these potatoes. They are good potatoes.” Of course I bought. With a pitch like that, who could refuse to buy potatoes from that woman? They turned out to be good potatoes, but she knew more than how to grow them. She knows how to sell things, a talent which is lost to some of the larger organizations of our world who are watching their customers growing ever cooler to their appeals and slowly drifting away, either to buy elsewhere or to stop buying some things altogether. Not the potato lady. She will always find customers. There was none of that time-wasting chatter that they apparently teach in the door-to-door sales schools. Hello sir, how are you today? Would you like a free two week holiday in Hawaii? No obligation? The lady with the potato had no intention of giving anything away. She had a product which she deemed worth selling and she wanted money for it. Too many salesman of the chattering classes seem ashamed of the money part and will say almost anything to avoid revealing that they want the householder to buy something. To many sellers the plan seems to be that you should sidle up to the idea that you are selling something. Never call it quality product. Find a side entrance which leads into the customers subconscious. Sell the sizzle, not the steak, they say. Who eats sizzle? The hamburger stand advertises that their beef is Government Inspected. So what? It’s illegal to sell any other kind of beef. The CHRISTMAS CRAFT SALE Porcelain & Vinyl Collector Dolls Artist Teddy Bears Hand-dipped Chocolates Home-made Soap & Gift Baskets 2999 Charella Drive Saturday, Dec. 6 & Sunday, Dec. 7 10am-4pm 964-2454 it. She had no yearning for the mystic satisfaction of cajoling a reluctant customer who was forthright. I’ve got good stuff. Want it? Yes or no? Bless her. She ranks with the operator of the Anahim Lake General Store whom I once directed the question “How much are these batwing chaps worth, d’Arcy?” he answered, “I have no idea what they are worth but if you want to buy them the price is two hundred and ten.” So the potato lady, who was square and solid like her speech, brought a 50 pound sack of Field Run spuds to the door, swinging it easily in one hand. She left without saying “Have a nice day,” an insecurity borrowed from the Americans we could do without. They have proven to be good, mealy potatoes which keep well, but I knew that when 1 bought them. The only other salesman to rise to the level of the Potato Lady in weeks was Prime Minister Jean Chretien. That may seem an odd thing to say about a prime minister who has inflicted such wild-eyed creatures as Justice Minister Alan Rock and Shrieking Sheila Copps on the Canadian public. But credit where credit’s due. Jean Chretien hit one true note to which any Canadian can respond when he said of his government No bells. No whistles. No bull. The big discount places keep shouting No Money Down, Sacrifice Sale, The Manager Says Everything Must Go, Our Owner Has Gone Crazy and We Undersell Everybody. Their advertising boys don’t seem to know it yet, but the public is tuning them out. We want salesman like potato lady, built close to the ground, level eyed, plain spoken, saying “My potatoes are good potatoes.” STRAIGHT WRY Paul St. Pierre burger place could just as well advertise that their fries are guaranteed not to explode and injure bystanders or thin the ozone layer. The potato lady rejected all the chatter they teach in Harvard Business School. She had a clear, crisp way of saying that the product she sold was good. My father grew these potatoes. She knew her dad grew potatoes and she wanted the world to know it. What need more to say? All right, all right. It can be said that her words also were meaningless. Every potato in the world is grown by somebody’s father, son, niece or aunt and so what? Because the lady spoke with pride, that’s so what. She didn’t need to say one word more than “my father grew these potatoes.” The potato lady had a sense of proportion. She wasn’t on our doorstep because she was engaged in competition with a thousand other potato salesmen. She was not there to win a trip to Disneyland. She was there to strike a deal and if I didn’t like it she would be bang! off to the house next door in an instant because time is money and she knew Back Pain d Sciatica! 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