CDfTlPUTEPI
CDM1EP.
:by
foobar
kludge
KLUDGE
AWARD
-
It
is
with
chagrin
and
sorrow
that
Foobar
is
obligated
to
present
the
Kludge
award.
The
definition
of
a
kludge
is
an
item
of
disgust,
a
poorly
prepared
appendage,
a
polluting
corruption
of
original
intent.
Unfortunately
there
is
no
other
way
to
describe
the
recently
mounted
banners
within
the
lab
rooms.
There
was
an
extended
effort
by
those
involved
in
the
design
and
construction
of
the
new
labs
to
develop
an
area
inviting
to
work
.
pleasing
to
the
eye
and
effective
in
learning.
Someone
has
taken
on
to
pollute
and
destroy
the
environment
by
mounting
a
10
foot
long
computer
printer-produced
banners
telling
people
to
restrict
the
amount
of
time
spent
at
the
terminal
during
busy
periods.
FOOBAR
has
no
argument
with
the
fact
that
the
users
could
and
should
make
more
effective
use
of
terminal
time.
It
is
the
gutter
level
manner
in
which
the
problem
was
approached
that
is
being
challenged.
Hopefully
Foobar
can
bring
you
a
happy
conclusion
to
this
demoralizing
and
sad
tale.
And
on
the
brighter
side
:
overheard
in
the
cafeteria)
If
I
REMODIFY
this
program
one
more
time
it
has
to
work.
FOOBAR
AWARD
-
To
the
individual
who
discovered
that
the
family
was
proud
owners
of
a
female
dog
and
female
cat,
after
visiting
the
vet.
Not
enough
time
was
spent
on
the
uncle's
farm
as
a
child.
Why
is
it
that
students
are
treated
as
second
hand
again?
Enough
of
the
recycled
paper.
Of
course
we
are
referring
to
that
wide
stuff
dumped
into
the
lab
room
terminals
a
while
ago.
Doesn't
fit
into
folders
for
hand
in.
Doesn't
print
two
consecutive
pages
without
jamming.
And
page
breaks
every
ten.
If
computer
services
wishes
to
conserve
maybe
the
best
place
to
start
would
be
within
their
own
ranks.
And
if
it
ain't
good
enough
for
the
staff
it
ain't
good
enough
for
the
students.
THElLfBLUE
Lesson
19
"Canada's
Beer
Bottle"
Ever
wonder
about
our
stubby,
brown
beer
bottle?
Well,
the
bottle
is
brown
because
that
colour
filters
out
sunlight
which
can
cause
beer
to
go
flat.
And
it's
stubby,
because
early
in
the
sixties,
packagers
discovered
that
a
compact
bottle
was
easier
to
handle,
and
took
up
less
room
in
a
beer
case.
It
also
saved
everybody
money.
So
in
1962,
the
uniform
industry
beer
bottle
made
its
debut
in
Canada.
Altogether,
there
are
almost
100
million
bottles
circulating
through
the
entire
system.
Each
one
makes
about
four
trips
a
year
and
averages
four
to
five
year's
service
before
it's
retired
and
sent
back
to
the
glass
factory.
Anyway
you
look
at
it,
that's
quite
a
career.
So
next
time
you
think
our
Canadian
beer
bottle
might
look
a
little
homely,
just
remember
that
it
wasn't
built
for
beauty.
It
was
built
to
last
And
isn't
that
what
really
matters
when
you're
out
there
making
the
rounds?
Lesson
19
from
the
College
of
Beer
Knowledge
CNC
FREE
PRESS
NOVEMBER
5,
1982
5
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