U
editorial
(cont.
from
p.
2)
and
partisan
political
advantage.
Democracy
is
being
threatened
by
their
actions."
Obstruction
of
passageof
legislative
acts
aside,
has
everyone
in
government
lost
sight
of
the
fact
that
the
Senate,
as
long
as
it
is
appointed
by
government,
is
vulnerable
to
packing
by
one
or
the
other
major
parties?
If
half
of
the
Liberal
Senators
were
to
drop
dead
today
(and
kazoo
playing
in
the
Senate
Chambers
is
directly
correlated
to
a
high
incidence
of
heart
attacks),
Mr.
Mulroney
would
be
in
a
position
to
replace
them
with
an
equal
numberof
Conservatives.
Atlhe
inevitable
point
in
future
history
when
the
Liberals
return
to
power,
their
legislation
could
be
blocked
by
a
hostile,
Conservative
Senate.
Regardless
of
who
is
in
power,
and
who
has
most
recently
packed
the
Senate,
all
of
us
are
losing
our
democratic
rights
to
elected
representation.
Do
you
wonder
any
of
these
things?
Other
things?
It's
a
good
way
to
wander
through
sleepless
nights.
Breaking
Up
by
Ed
Tanas
This
can
be
a
very
rough
time
in
a
person's
life.
Suddenly
finding
yourself
alone,
not
knowing
what
to
do.
When
a
person
trusts
another
with
every
secret
and
then
that
person
goes
and
reveals
or
yells
these
tilings
out
This
can
be
painful.
-Wouldn't
it
ifejiuce
if
things
could
be
civilized?
Jherearemanyemotionsthata
person
goe
.ihrough
fear,
loneliness,
angerand
sadness.
If
a
person
was
engaged
and
tfiat
doesn't
work
out,
it
becomes
or
could
become
a
messy
situation.
How
does
a
person
combat
it?
How
does
a
person
deal
with
it?
First
of
all,
try
to
talk
it
over.
If
that
doesn't
work,
let
things
cool
down.
It
is
amazing
what
hurtful
things
can
be
be
said
when
two
people
are
mad
at
each
other.
I
should
know,
my
ex
even
told
me
I
don't
deserve
to
be
living.
Avoid
each
other.
Second
try
not
to
get
other
people
involved.
Try
to
resolve
things
like
mature
adults
even
though
you
have
the
feelings
of
anger.
One
of
the
hardest
things
to
realize
is
that
its.over.
It
is
time
to
get
on
with
your
own
life,
it
may
be
hard.
If
you
do
run
into
your
ex
and
heshe
gets
ignorant,
just
walk
the
other
way.
The
other
person
looks
like
a
fool
and
you
an
adult.
Anybody
thta
yells
like
a
child
is
basicaly
a
loser
since
they
cannot
talk
like
a
civilized
person.
They
have
a
problem,
don
'
t
let
it
be
yours.
If
you
are
having
a
hard
time,
talk
it
over
with
your
friends.
If
things
get
really
bad
there
are
consellors
at
the
Health
Unit
or
see
your
familydoctor.
After
a
serious
realationship
goes
bad,
one
must
realize
that
all
is
not
lost,
things
just
change.
Nobody
said
that
life
was
easy.
The
Hurting
Male:
What
is
a
Man?
by
Stan
Chung
John
Lee,
The
Flying
Boy:
Healing
the
Wounded
Male
(Heath
Communications),
1989.
In
the
last
ten
years
I
have
cried
but
once.
It
was
a
tumultuous
time
in
my
life
near
the
end
of
a
rocky
relationship.
You
know
that
time
when
it
feels
okay
to
really
start
hurting
each
other?
Alice'
s
words
sliced
into
me,
and
I
cried
in
the
presence
of
two
shocked
friends.
They
had
never
seen
me
so
emotional;
I
had
been
up
to
that
point,
at
least
in
their
eyes,
a
relatively
calm
and
reasonable
person.
Even
now
I
consider
myself
a
strong
son,
brother,
teacher,
and
friend.
But
beneath
all
that
there
is
a
disturbing
question:
why
do
I
feel
so
weak
deep
inside?
John
Lee's
The
Flying
Boy:
Healing
the
Wounded
Male
is
one
of
the
first
books
in
the
new
"Men's
Movement"
that
deals
with
the
problem
of
masculinity.
This
movement
has
at
its
focus
Robert
Bly,
a
poet
who
leads
talks
for
men
on
how
better
to
understand
male
self-actualization.
Lee,
adisciple
of
Bly's,
has
written
an
intriguing
book.
It
is
not
a
typical
self-help
book,
the
kind
that
promises
you
salvation,
a
larger
bank
account
or
both.
In
fact,
the
first
thing
I
did
was
look
in
the
back
for
the
solutions.
But
no
such
luck.
This
book
isn't
about
instant
answers
or
ready-made
cures.
It's
the
kind
of
book
you
approach
cautiously
because
it
makes
you
feel
queasy
and
vulnerable.
But
I
like
'to
be
in
control.
I
like
it
so
much
that
I
even
take
pains
to
pretend
I
am
relinquishing
control.
But
giving
control
is
a
temporary
illusion
because
you
always
know
you
can
snap
back
the
reins
at
any
time.
Lee
exposes
this
need
for
control
as
the
beginning
of
both
emotional
and
physical
pain.
Controlling
one's
angerfear
frustration
can
often
mean
cutting
yourself
from
feeling
at
all:
"I
had
tried
to
control
Laura
through
manipulation,
education
and
domination
while
paying
lip
service
to
feminism
and
equality."
What
Lee
describes
is
a
process
for
working
through
repressed
anger
and
sadness.
I
read
the
book
trving
to
open
myself
to
discovery,
but
I
felt
frustrated.
Although
the
tears
may
come
(this
book
is
very
much
about
grieving),
I
am
still
quite
uncertain
what
makes
the
tears
come.
Lee's
book
is
targeted
for
men
and
women
who
grew
up
in
families
where
the
father
was
absent
or
unemotional
and
where
the
mother
then
tried
to
make
up
for
the
absence
with
a
smothering,
perfect
love.
Does
this
remind
you
of
someone?
I
remember
feeling
that
it
was
my
job
to
protect
my
mother,
calm
down
my
father,
run
the
family,
and
make
it
to
kindergarten
on
time.
According
to
Lee,
such
boys
become
"flying
boys."
Unable
to
commit
to
relationships,
they
fly
away
as
soon
as
things
become
intimate.
Flying
boys
are
often
highly
intelligent
and
responsible
people.
But
flying
boys,
in
the
words
of
Fritz
Perls,
"need
to
lose
their
minds
to
gain
their
senses."
I
have
been
a
teacher
believing
that
essentially
it
was
my
task
to
engage
the
student's
emotions
before
their
minds,
so
they
could
see
themselves
in
literature
and
language.
While
I
give
unconditionally
to
Quality
Instruments
"l
4r
Nuls
wzv
and
Dental
Students
10
OFF
Mm
siI-'-'x
"""j
"
:
"J
nHBk
7V
these
students
who
are
essentially
strangers,
I
continually
do
all
kinds
of
"flying"
escaping
friends,
relatives,
lovers
and
essentially
mistreating
those
that
I
care
about.
Lee
describes
this
phenomenon
as
one
of
the
things
that
helped
him
realize
that
he
was,
despite
all
his
efforts,
becoming
exactly
like
his
father.
Strangers
would
come
to
my
home
and
I
could
treat
them
with
more
kindness
and
compassion
than
I
could
the
woman
I
loved
and
lived
with.
I
saw
where
I
learned
this
and
was
sad
and
angry
at
the
same
time.
Mom
loved
Dad;
Laurel
loved
me.
I
was
my
father.
With
that
thought,
I
started
crying.
To
say
that
this
book
is
for
everyone
seems
an
exaggeration.
While
we
may
be
secure,
comfortable,
and
educated,
we
are
'still
confronted
with
the
mystery
of
rela
tionships.
How
many
single
mothers
have
known
a
"flying
boy?"
How
many
men
feel
desensitized
and
numb
when
it
comes
to
their
own
emotions?
Pioneering
work
like
Lee's
seems
at
once
a
tragic
reminder
of
how
little
we
know
about
ourselves
and
a
profound
document
preparing
us
for
new
views
on
relationships.
Lee's
book
asks
us
to
delve
deeper
into
our
wounds,
to
dis
cover
that
we
are
in
pain
,
and
teaches
us
that
we
can
look
after
ourselves.
It
will
be
at
our
book
store
soon.
Ask
for
it.
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