V
Double,
Double,
Toil
and
Trouble,
Fire
Burn
and
Cauldron
Bubble
Gum
Brent
Turl
It
was
discussed
in
a
recent
Marketing
class
that
sometimes
advertisers
cannot
show
everything
they
wish
to
show
for
fear
of
the
viewer
perceiving
the
real
truth.
Take,
for
example,
booze
or
cigarettes.
If
advertisers
started
to
portray
the
reality
of
some
of
this
stuff,
their
sales
wouldplunge,
and
we
would
have
to
find
another
major
source
of
tax
revenue.
It
has
occurred
to
me
that
there
is
another
item
that
advertisers
must
be
cautious
with,
and
that
product
is
chewing
gum.
I
have
noticed
that
various
chewing
gum
commercials
never
show
the
actors
or
actresses
actually
chewing
the
gum.
This
is
because
many
people
who
chew
gum
look
disgusting.
The
sticks
of
gum
are
passed
around
joyfully
as
if
they
had
nothing
better
to
do
all
day
than
wait
for
the
golden
moment
of
mastication.
A
very
nice
looking
young
lady
slides
the
gum
slowly
and
sensuously
into
her
mouth
and
then
smiles
sweetly
at
the
camera
not
daring
to
move
another
muscle
for
fear
of
looking
like
a
cow
with
a
wad
of
fermented
grass.
I
tried
chewing
gum
once.
It
was
monotonous.
After
about
fifteen
minutes
my
jaws
wanted
to
hibernate.
They
kept
sending
the
same
message
to
my
brain;
Boring-Please
swallow.
I
remember
a
woman
sitting
across
from
me
at
a
card
table.
She
was
gnawing
an
oversize
lump
of
something
and
tried
to
talk
and
play
cards
at
the
same
time.
"(Pop-splat)
I
think,
(dribble)
two
spades,
(slurp)
no,
(sploot)
two
no
trump
(gurgle-snap-crack-splash)."
Gum
chewers
may
be
categorized
as
follows.
First,
we
have
Gary,
the
strong
silent
type.
Gary's
expertise
revolves
around
keeping
an
extra
large
wad
rolling
in
his
jaws
for
as
long
as
possible,
like
a
National
League
pitcher.
Second,
there
is
Bertha,
a
quiet,
reclusive
sort
of
person
who
is
not
given
to
large
volumes
of
gum,
but
takes
pride
in
the
speed
and
power
of
the
bubbles
she
can
blow.
The
degree
of
her
success
is
measured
in
bubbles
per
minute
per
decibel
of
pop.
Then
we
have
Sugarbaby.
Marianne
Sagebrecht
and
Eisi
Gulp
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Sarah,
subtle
and
insidious.
Sarah
looks
you
right
in
the
eye
and
carries
on
a
normal
conversation,
but
occasionally
there
is
an
extra
move
of
the
lip,
or
the
half
hidden
flip
of
the
tongue.
S
arah,
always
reminds
me
of
a
magician
palming
an
ace.
You
know
there
is
something
happening,
but
you
can'
t
quite
catch
her
at
it.
High-powered
gum
chewers
seem
to
gravitate
to
certain
jobs,
like
store
clerk
or
bank
teller.
A
typical
conversation
with
a
store
clerk
would
sound
something
like
this.
"There
is
no
such
thing,
sir.
(gnaw-SNAP-gnaw)"
"I
just
bought
it
here."
"That
was
our
last
one.
(SNAP-gnaw-gnaw)"
"Could
you
get
me
another
one?"
"They
quit
making
them,
(gnaw-SNAP-SNAP)"
"When?"
"Two
hours
ago
(gnaw-gnaw-gnaw)"
By
this
time
I
have
developed
a
fasci
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bV
nation
for
two-seventy
magnum
automatic
jaws
and
I
start
to
dream
up
questions
to
see
how
long
they
can
maintain
the
power
and
velocity.
"What
do
you
think
of
the
GST?"
"We
don'
t
sell
those
either,
sir
(SNAP-gnaw-SNAP)"
"Oh.
Well
what
did
they
replace
them
with?"
"They
didn't
(SNAP).
They
weren't
a
popular
item,
(gnaw-SNAP)
so
they
discontinued
the
line
(SNAP-gnaw-SNAP)."
My
head
is
starting
to
jerk
with
each
SNAP
of
the
jaws
and
I
am
beginning
to
feel
nauseous.
"Do
you
have
washrooms
here?"
"We
have,
sir,
but
they
are
closed?
(SNAP-jerk-gnaw-SNAP-jerk)"
"Oh.
Why
is
that?"
"People
keep
plugging
up
the
toilets
(gnaw-SNAP-jerk-SNAP
-jerk)
with
wads
of
chewing
gum
(SNAP-jerk-gnaw-SNAP-jerk)."
PG.
Hobby
Centre
Sugarbaby
and
Entre
Nous
are
two
of
the
new
up
and
coming
films
being
shown
at
Cinema
CNC.
Sugarbaby
is
being
shown
Nov.
17,
Entre
Nous
Dec.1,
For
more
information
refer
to
page
6.
All
Role
Playing
Games
and
Supplies
One
Coupon
per
Purchase
Please
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Mw
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100ft
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A-Ajna
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:
Open
Thursday
Till
9:00pm
and
Sunday
1
1-5
:00pm
il
m5k
RG-
HOBBY
CENTRE
Je$iJZ$?
Spmceland
Shopping
Centre
562-0465
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