r
t
The
Video
Flashback
Ratines
A
1
star
very
stupid
2
stars
stupid
3
stars
klnda
stupid
klnda
cool
4
stars
cool
5
stars
very
cool
10
stars
Star
Wars
This
Is
the
first
installment
of
what
I
hope
will
become
a
regular
feature
in
the
Free
Press,
a
video
review
aimed
at
the
sophisticated
college
student.
The
purpose
of
this
column
is
to
illuminate
a
significant
area
of
our
cultural
past
that
has
been
all
but
lost,
beat-out
by
the
late-night
talk
show
and
the
24
hour
video
channel,
the
after
hours
phenomenon
I
speak
of,
the
'B'
movie.
My
experience
with
the
'B'
movie
began
early.
I
was
a
lonely,
maladjusted
child.
None
of
the
other
kids
in
the
neighborhood
would
play
with
me.
Much
of
my
adolescence
I
spent
hiding
in
my
basement
watchinglate-shows
and
Saturday
matinees.
I
found
friends
in
the
'B'
movies,
I
watched
in
glee
as
giant
oriental
monsters
squashed
the
play
grounds
where
the
so
called
"normal"
children
played.
As
a
teenager
I
never
went
on
dates,
and
I
was
never
asked
to
anyparties.
Butyou
can
be
damned
sure
that
I
was
there
when
'The
Humanoids
from
the
Deep"
surfaced
on
unexpectlng,
beer-guzzling,
beach-goers,
killing
the
guys
and
dragging
the
scantily
clad
well-developed
teenage
girls
back
to
their
subterranean
lair.
The
subject
of
this
weeks
review
will
go
down
in
the
annals
of
'B'
movie
history
as
the
greatest
'B'
movie
epic
of
all
time,
'The
Planet
of
the
Apes".
The
Ape
movies,
a
series
of
seven
shows
deals
with
almost
every
relative
issue
in
modern
society,
the
arms
race,
global
warming,
the
sexual
revolution,
the
Joke
De
Free
Press
Why
did
the
chicken
cross
the
basket
ball
court?
Because
he
heard
the
reff
calling
Fowls.
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TILL
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AND
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:00pm
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4MMMMt
collapse
of
communism,
the
war
on
drugs,
and
the
plight
of
the
adult
children
of
gay
Nazis.
The
Ape
movies
ooze
with
cov
ert
and
blatant
symbolism.
The
laymen
(lay-person,
lay-primate)
may
have
trouble
properly
interpreting
the
visual
and
verbal
imagery
in
the
films,
so
I
have,
at
great
personal
expense
made
a
chart
and
rating
system
to
help
you
experience
'The
Planet
of
the
Apes"
on
all
levels.
1.
'The
Planet
of
the
Apes"-The
original
movie
starring
Charlton
Heston.
Talking
apes,
mute
people.
On
the
time
line
this
is
really
the
fifth
movie.
5
stars
2.
"Beneath
the
Planet
of
the
Apes"-A
cameo
appearance
by
Charlton
Heston.
Talking
apes
and
lots
of
bald
people
that
talk
without
moving
their
lips.
On
the
time
line
it's
really
show
6.
5
stars
3.
"Star
Wars"-Not
really
an
ape-movie,
but
it
is
the
best
"motion,
picture
ever,
and
Chewbacca
is
sort-,
of
an
ape.
10
stars
4.
"Before
the
Planet
of
the
Apes"-Time
traveling
apes
(talking
kind)
persecuted
by
evil
humans
(talking
kind),
featuring
Ricardo
Montelbon
Really
the
second
movie.
3
stars,,
5.
"Gorillas
in
the
Mist"-Talking.
humans
try
to
live
with
mute
apes-Kind
of
boring,
but
has
more
sex
then
the
other
shows.
Really
show
1.
2
stars
;
6.
"Revenge
of
the
Planet
of
the
Apes"-Mute
apes
and
their
talking
leader
over-throw
oppressive
talking
humans.
Really
show
3
4
stars
7.
"Return
to
the
Planet
of
the
Apes"
Good
talking
apes
and
good
talking
people
vs.
bad
talking
apes
and
bad
talking
people.
A
not
to
bad
show,
but
too
much
dialogue.
Really
show
4.
3
stars
To
the
really
adventurous
Ape
movie
fan
I
issue
a
challenge,
it's
something
I
like
to
do
on
those
boring
Saturday
nights.
Rent
all
seven
shows
on
one
evening,
shuffle
them
and
watch
them
all
night.
You
will
find
that
when
you
watch
the
movies
in
different
orders
they
take
on
whole
new
meanings.
So
get
out
there
and
rent
those
Ape
movies.
Coming
next
issue;
The
Video
Gladiators;
Ben
Hur,
Julius
Ceaser,
The
Bronx
Warriors,
Star
Wars,
and
Chariots
of
Fire.
X
A.
.
Magazine-
Format
Videos
By
cfwd
'De
MCcy
LOS
ANGELES
(AP)
Magazine
format
videos,
which
stumbled
in
the
early
1980s,
may
have
found
their
slot
in
the
United
States
with
specialized
formats
catering
to
fashion
followers,
golfers
and
scuba
divers.
The
newer
videos
feature
originally
produced
articles
and
have
attracted
advertsers
such
as
Revlon
and
Coca-Cola.
Others
shun
advertising,
passing
on
production
and
distribution
costs
to
the
buyer.
Subscriptions
to
American
video
magazines
range
from
$1
19.95
US
a
year
for
four
issues
Qn
flying
to
$59.95
US
annually
for
four
issues
on
sailing.
One
video
magazine
being
test-marketed
in
Indiana
and
Colorado,
Persona,
will
be
sold
monthly
at
supermarket
checkout
counters
for
$4.95
US,
just
like
its
personality-focused
print
magazine
cous
ins.
And
the
two-hour
tape
is
reus-,
able.
Unlike
the
earlier
efforts
that
failed,
the
newer
crop
of
video
magazines
are
originals,
not
remakes
of
existing
publications.
Playboy
tried
in
1983
to
mar-ket
a
magazine-format
video.
Priced
at
$59.95
each,
the
videos
were
more
popular
as
rental
items
and'
failed
to
sell.
The
video
magazine
was
shut
down
after
13
editions,
but
did
give
way
to
the
popular
Playboy
video
centrefold.
Most
of
the
video
magazines
are
from
smaller
companies,
but
at
least
one
major
player,
Capital
Cities-ABC,
is
in
the
game
with
Wide
World
of
Flying,
which
it
produces,
and
Wide
World
of
Golf,
a
joint
venture
with
Jack
Nicklaus
Productions.
Others
include
the
Moda
fashion
video
out
of
New
York;
Sea
Fans,
Set
Sail,
and
Angling,
from
Passage
Home
Communications
in
Denver;
and
a
planned
magazine
for
video
consumers,
Video
and
Sound,
due
in
May
from
Video
Publishing
group
in
Miami.
MPI
Video
in
Oak
Forest,
111.,
has
captured
the
skateboard
set
with
Hard
and
Heavy,
a
heavy
metal
review
magazine;
Gorgon,
devoted
to
the
serious
splatter-fantasy
movie
fan;
and
perhaps
one
of
the
top
sellers
for
the
video
magazine
format,
Secret
Video
Games
Tricks,
Codes
and
Strategies.
MPI
claims
the
first
edition
of
Secret
Video
Games
sold
200,000
copies.
"There
are
so
many
nuts,
Nintendo
nuts,
who
just
sit
there
and
play
day
after
day,
the
same
game,
and
they
all
have
VCRs,"
said
MPI
spokesman
ChuckParello.
"So
they
have
to
watch
the
tape,
take
down
notes,
then
turn
the
tape
off
and
turn
the
game
on."
Wide
World
of
Golf,
which
had
its
first
issue
in
January,
already
has
14,000
subscribers,
said
producer
Terry
Jastrow.