WRITERS'
BLOCK
make
any
difference
to
him
but
it
made
me
wonder.
Do
you
suppose,
I
thought,
if
I
ate
a
lot
of
sugar
that
it
would
give
me
more
energy?
It
seemed
worth
a
try.
I
went
on
a
junk
food
binge.
I
couldn't
see
that
the
extra
sugar
gave
me
any
more
energy.
I
think
my
body
might
have
produced
more
though.
I
think
that
the
watch
thought
it
did
and
it
made
me
want
more.
I
began
to
want
candy,
pop
and
ice
cream
all
of
the
time.
I
used
to
drink
a
cup
of
tea
a
day,
with
two
teaspoons
full
of
sugar
in
it.
Now
suddenly
I
wanted
five
or
six
cups
with
three
teaspoons
of
sugar.
My
family
harassed
me
unmercifully
about
all
the
sugar
I
put
in
the
tea.
Mom
would
ask,
"Would
you
like
some
tea
with
your
sugar
Car
la?"
My
husband
Dave,
keeps
saying
things
when
we're
at
somebody's
house
like,
"Just
give
her
a
little
hot
"water
in
the
sugar
bowl
and
a
tea
bag."
j.
I
couldn't
understand
it.
I
even
remember
asking
my
mom,
"Do
you
suppose
they've
done
something'fojthe
sugar
that
has
made
it
less
sweet."
Thetea
didn't
seem
any
sweeter
than
it
had
with
two
spoons.
We
would
go
to
parties
and
they'd
pass
me
vegetables
and
dip.
I'd
leave
it
and
look
for
the
cake
and
cookies.
I
consumed
large
quantities
of
candy
bars.
I
eat
at
least
one
every
day.
I've
been
known
to
eat
up
to
8
in
one
day.
I
wash
them
down
with
Pepsi.
Not
the
diet
stuff.
I'm
after
the
sugar.
Sometimes
I
drink
a
litre
bottle
at
a
time.
Lots
of
days
I
eat
half
of
a
9x13
cake
for
breakfast
and
whole
cream
pies
by
myself.
People
keep
saying,
"Carla,
your
going
to
get
fat
one
of
these
days."
They've
been
saying
that
to
me
for
years.
Ten
years
ago
I
was
5'8"
and
weighed
145
lbs.
I
still
do
and
I've
had
two
babies
during
that
time,
my
fifth
and
sixth
children.
I
was
back
in
my
regular
clothes
within
a
week
after
the
last
one
was
born.
Then
one
day
I
heard
a
bunch
of
people
on
T.V.
on
a
talk
show
talking
about
a
disease
they
had.
It's
got
them
all
real
tired
too.
I
Hi
thought,
I
wonder
if
I
could
have
that.
I
made
an
appointment
with
my
doctor.
He
gave
me
another
battery
of
tests
and
pronounced
there
was
nothing
wrong
with
me
a
least
physically.
He
suggested
I
might
want
to
consult
a
psychiatrist
I
didn't
want
to
go
at
first.
I
was
a
little
nervous,
but
my
doctor
seemed
to
think
it
best
and
set
me
up
an
appointment
with
one
in
Prince
George.
I
was
late
and
missed
the
appointment.
I
never
made
another.
I
was
having
a
lot
of
trouble
getting
anywhere
on
time
by
now.
My
watch
was
always
five
minutes
fast
and
I
was
still
at
least
five
minutes
late.
It
bugged
me
that
the
watch
was
five
minutes
fast
all
the
time.
People
would
say,
"You
know
it
doesn't
do
any
good
to
have
your
watch
set
ahead
if
you
know
it's
ahead.
You
just
allow
yourself
that
other
five
minutes."
Don't
they
realize
I
don't
have
this
thing
five
minutes
fast
on
purpose?
I've
sat
it
thousands
of
times
to
the
right
time.
Within
a
few
days
it's
five
minutes
fast
again.,
I
have
even
set
it
five
minutes
slow.
It
knows
and
adjusts.
I
expect
by
now
you're
wondering
why
I
don't
just
take
the
thing
off
and
throw
it
away.
I
would
if
I
could.
I
can't
take
it
off
I
could
until
about
this
time
last
year.
I
had
it
off
a
lot
of
times
before
I
knew.
I
even
took
it
off
a
couple
of
times
and
let
one
of
the
kids
use
it
for
a
while.
I
guess
it
thought
the
risk
of
getting
lost
was
worth
the
greater
energy
from
a
younger
wrist.
The
thing
has
had
three
different
bands
on
it
since
I've
had
it.
The
one
it
has
now
used
to
have
a
little
loop
that
the
end
of
the
strap
went
through.
I
was
afraid
when
that
loop
broke
that
it
would
fall
off
and
I'd
lose
my
watch.
Don't
I
wish
I
could
lose
it.
-
When
I
finally
began
to
be
suspicious
that
it
was
something
to
do
with
my
watch
was
about
a
year
ago.
We
have
wood
heat
at
our
house
and
one
night
I
got
up
in
the
night
to
put
wood
in
the
heater.
The
piece
of
wood
was
just
about
too
big
to
fit
in
the
stove.
I
was
poking
and
prying
around
with
the
poker.
The
fire
was
roaring.
The
heat
was
real
bad
and
it
felt
like
my
arms
and
face
were
burning.
I
got
the
block
about
34
of
the
way
in
and
I
couldn't
get
it
all
the
way
in.
I
couldn't
take
it
back
by
now
because
it
was
burning
on
the
other
end.
I
was
feeling
frustrated
and
I
was
just
'
about
to
give
up
and
yell
for
Dave
to
wake
up
and
try
it.
The
house
was
filling
up
with
smoke
and
my
eyes
were
burning.
Finally
something
twisted
the
right
way
and
it
went
in.
It
sort
of
surprised
me,
(I'd
begun
to
think
it
never
would)
and
my
hand
went
in
too.
I
burned
my
little
finger.
I
jumped
when
my
finger
got
burned
and
I
jerked
my
hand
back
quick.
When
I
did
that
I
banged
the
face
of
my
watch
on
the
side
of
the
door
a
good
solid
whap
and
I
felt
a
shock
at
my
wrist.
It
wasn't
a
real
bad
shock.
Just
sort
of
a
little
numbing
one
like
when
you
bang
your
funny
bone.
I
never
thought
much
of
it
at
the
time.
Then
about
a
week
later
I
got
the
flu.
I
was
sick
from
the
middle
both
ways
if
you
"'
know
what
I
mean.
The
last
thing
I
in
the
world
I
felt
like
-
doing
was
eating.
I
had
no
energy
and
all
I
wanted
to
do
was
lay
down
and
sleep
for
a
week.
I
never
ate
anything
for
four
days
and
I
lost
quite
a
bit
of
weight
My
husband
tried
to
get
me
to
go
to
the
doctor
but
I
said,
"No.
I'm
too
sick
to
go
to
the
doctor.
Just
leave
me
alone
and
let
me
die
in
peace."
He
kept
trying
to
feed
me
too.
On
the
fourth
day
he
made
me
some
soup
and
brought
it
to
me
in
bed.
"Could
you
eat
some
soup,
Hun?"
he
asked.
"No,"
I
snarled.
"Get
it
out
of
here
before
I
throw
up."
And
my
watch
shocked
me
just
like
it
had
the
night
I
smashed
it
on
the
stove.
I
jumped,
"You
dirty
S.O.B."
I
yelled.
My
husband
looked
at
me
funny
and
left
for
the
kitchen
with
his
soup.
I
never
realized
right
away
but
he
thought
the
remark
was
made
at
him.
"You
think
you
can
shock
me
and
get
away
with
it?"
I
growled
at
the
watch
undoing
the
buckle.
(continued
next
issue)