2
THE
FREE
PRESS
-
Wednesday
October
26,
1994
The
Library
Lounge
By
C.
MacDonald,
Staff
writer
Have
I
got
an
idea
pour
vous!
Currently
our
library
serves
as
a
place
for
people
to
met,
to
become
reacquainted,
to
flirt
with
members
of
the
opposite
sex
(usually),
and
basically
just
shoot
the
shit.
So
I
say
this:
Why
not
serve
cocktails
and
huer
d'oeuvres?
We
can
turn
the
presently
drab,
dry
meeting
place
into
one
filled
with
spirits
and
intoxication.
Of
course
a
few
layout
modifications
would
be
in
order.
The
area
just
inside
the
main
doors
could
be
converted
into
a
coat
check.
The
micro
lab
could
be
converted
into
a
walk-in
cooler
for
cold
draught
beer
storage.
Since
this
is
the
College
of
New
Caledonia,
naturally
we
should
adopt
a
Scottish
theme.
"Ciad
mille
failte"
would
be
posted
behind
the
main
service
area
to
greet
all
who
enter.
We
could
specialize
in
fine
single
malt
scotch
whiskey
(if
that
is
too
expensive
we
could
always
resort
to
good
ole
Cape
Breton
moonshine).
We
cold
toast
the
tartans
while
sipping
on
a
wee
dram.
The
fine
tunes
of
Alaistair
"the
Cu"
MacMullin
fill
the
room
as
a
few
lassies
do
the
highland
fling
on
the
dance
floor.
But
of
course
some
might
not
agree.
I
can
hear
the
objections
already;
"But
what
about
all
the
people
who
really
want
to
study?
"The
answer
to
that
is
simple:
Presently,
people
can
not
study
in
peace
and
quiet.
Serious
students
have
to
do
their
work
at
home
because
the
volume
level
in
the
library
is
unbearable.
Maybe
may
plan
is
really
all
too
fantastic.
Maybe
my
plan
for
another
bar
on
campus
would
not
j
be
widely
accepted.
I
guess
I
will
just
have
to
keep
on
studying
at
the
same
old
desk,
with
same
tested
patience,
and
the
ever
present
bunch
of
disrespectful
1
chatterboxes
surrounding
me.
I
guess
my
dream
of
of
opening
a
lounge
will
have
to
wait.
I
really
do
like
that
name
though.
I
think
it
would
be
a
really
cool
name
for
a
bar.
The
Library
lounge
.
.
.
Editorial
Wow!
How
'bout
this?
Two
issues,
and
we're
still
in
first
semester!!!
Let
me
fill
you
in
on
whats
been
going
on
in
the
Free
Press
office.
When
I
took
our
first
issue
to
the
printing
press,
I
found
out
the
sheet
sizes
we
had
been
given
were
wrong
!
But,
fortunately,
our
friends
at
the
Citizen
managed
to
shrink
it
to
fit
the
regular
tabloid
size,
and
we
were
back
on
track.
Then
came
the
assumption
from
some
of
our
writers
that
every
two
weeks
meant
every
two
months.
Six
or
seven
of
them
still
haven't
turned
anything
in
for
this
issue.
One
of
our
new
features
this
issue
was
supposed
to
be
the
biweekly
butt.
Much
to
the
shock
of
one
CNC
student,
he
was
approached
by
myself
and
our
photgrapher
Andrea
Hooper
about
"maybe
being
the
CNC
version
of
the
smile
of
the
day".
The
look
on
his
face
was
priceless
when
he
found
out
that
we
didn't
want
a
picture
of
his
face,
but
of
his
bum.
Unfortunately,
to
the
disappointment
of
every
female
in
the
Press
office,
the
picture
did
not
turn
out!!
Anyone
who
thinks
they
have
a
nice
bum,
come
down
to
the
office.
Our
panel
of
butt
experts
will
judge
it
and
maybe
you'll
be
our
next
butt!
We
have
a
new
staffer
on
board
too.
Lorrie
Lewis
is
joining
us
in
cartoons.
Also,
please
do
not
use
the
submissions
box
in
the
library
for
submissions.
There
is
no
key
for
it,
so
no
one
will
be
able
to
get
anything
out
of
it.
If
you
have
anything
for
us,
please
turn
it
in
at
our
mailbox
in
the
S
A
office
or
drop
it
off
at
our
office,
room
1-107.
Other
exciting
things
you'll
want
to
watch
for
are
all
the
groovy
interviews
I'm
getting
in
the
sports
section.
John
and
Deryk
have
de
cided
to
take
a
Siskel
and
Ebert
approach
to
movie
reviews,
and
Pam
has
gone
into
a
tizzy
getting
travel
info
for
you.
Stacey
has
managed
to
complain
about
the
complications
of
being
18
in
an
eloquent
manner,
and
Andrea
has
been
shooting
practically
everything
she
sees
as
a
po
tential
front
page
photo.
Birgit
swears
she'll
have
a
report
on
some
hikes
she's
gone
on
for
you,
and
our
classifieds
are
both
comic
and
serious,
so
read
them
all
,you
wouldn't
want
to
accidentally
pass
up
a
bargain
in
the
For
Sale
section.
Something
else
you
may
want
to
read
is
the
Letters
to
the
Editor.
We
have
a
scathing
letters
about
the
Prince
George
Cougars,
that
I'm
sure
will
stir
up
some
controversy.
I
got
to
see
a
copy
of
the
UNBC
paper,
which
is
called
"over
THE
EDGE".
Yeah,
no
kidding.
Is
the
next
one
going
to
be
called
"and
SLIDING
DOWN
THE
HILL?".
Speaking
of
other
newspapers,
talk
about
not
doing
your
homework.
Prince
George's
newest
newspaper
is
going
to
be
called
the
FREE
PRESS.
If
we
actually
had
the
kind
of
money
you
need
to
pay
a
lawyer,
we'd
sue
the
pants
off
of
them.
It's
infuriating
that
these
people
had
the
nerve
to
do
something
so
moronic.
Someone
has
also
approached
me
about
the
possibilty
of
me
covering
women's
issues.
Like
I'm
not
run
off
my
feet
already.
I'm
all
for
being
politically
correct,
but
I
think
CNC
has
had
more
than
its
fair
share
of
radical
feminism
in
the
past
few
years.
I
am
stuck
between
a
rock
and
hard
place
on
this
one.
If
I'm
not
radical
enough,
femi-nazis
in
combat
boots
and
fatigues
are
going
to
be
burning
me
in
ephigy,
and
if
I
get
too
radical,
normal
people
are
going
to
be
calling
in
the
middle
of
the
night
and
calling
me
a
femi-nazi.
Therefore,
I
refuse
to
get
involved
in
the
women's
issues
debate.
I
have
an
opinion,
and
someday
soon,
you'll
all
hear
about
it.
But
not
now.
Now,
I'll
sign
off
with
some
impartial
words
of
wisdom.
Drink
beer,
be
happy,
and
re-.
member:
you
have
to
kiss
a
lot
of
toads
before
one
turns
into
a
prince.
J.
Cole,
Editor
TO
ALL
READERS:
THf
OPINIONS
DISPLAYED
IN
THIS
PAPER
ARE
NOT
NECESSARILY
THOSE
HELD
BY
TH?
FREE
PRESS
OR
ITS
EMPLOYEES.
Horoscopes
by
D.
Young,
psychic
to
the
stars
ARIES:
a
secret
"rendezvous"
is
in
your
near
future,
but
stay
away
from
white
sneakers.
Lawsuit
plays
key
role.
TAURUS:
attention
revolves
around
purchase
of
sea
food.
You'll
exclaim
"Boy,
those
lobsters
sure
can
move".
OEMINT
Take
caution!
Avoid
all
90
degree
angles
and
left
turns.
Aries
with
large
polo
mallet
still
wants
his
money.
CANCER:
Sorry,
you'll
get
it
L.TBRA"
innocent
journey
turns
into
a
week
of
passion
filled
romance.
Member
of
bovine
family
is
key.
VlRGO:
previously
hidden
sign
is
revealed.
Blue
does
mean
pregnant,
yellow
means
too
much
prune
juice.
LEO:
with
the
moon
in
this
quarter
you
are
a
ferocious
lion.
Pounce
and
take
back
your
jungle.
Grrr!
CAPRICORN:
wild
'cat-man'
will
pursue
you.
Drop
into
the
fetal
position
and
protect
your
innards.
SAGITTARIUS:
spotlight
on
luck
and
fortune;
your
immigrant
neighbour
does
not
have
the
plague,
just
a
bad
case
of
gas.
SCORPIOJ
tragedy
will
strike
one
of
your
houseplants,
but
don't
blame
yourself;
who
knew
it
was
rat
poison?
AQUARIUS-
emphasis
is
on
creativity,
originality,
and
hallucinogenic
drugs.
Relationship
with
irregular
verb
ensues.
PlSCES:
oppurtunity
knocks!
Scenario
involves
a
lottery
ticket,
a
Jehovah's
Witness
and
ajar
of
oyster
sauce.
Don't
pass
up
your
big
chance!
We
at
the
Free
press
know
that
HALLOWEEN
IS
A
PARTY
TIME,
BUT
Tl.EAF
DON'T
DRINK
AND
DRIVE...WE
DON'T
WANT
TO
SEE
YOU
AS
THE
STAR
OF
A
NEW
NIGHT
OF
THE
LIVING
DEAD
MOVIE
Thank
you
to
Leon
FOR
GIVING
Uf
FROfTIES
from
Wendy's
on
layout
day