i-
that.
So,
I
decided
that
I
would
have
my
shower
first.
After
a
long,
hot,
relaxing
shower
I
got
out
and
dried
off.
Then,
wrapping
the
towel
around
me,
I
went
to
try
and
put
the
cats
out
on
the
porch
again.
Tiger
ran
straight
out
but
Tippy
headed
for
the
back
of
the
couch.
After
securing
Tiger
out
on
the
porch,
I
concentrated
my
efforts
on
Tippy.
In
the
race
around
the
trailer,
my
towel
and
I
became
separated.
I
left
the
towel
where
it
fell
because
bolt
for
the
open
door
and
back
inside
the
trailer.
Seeing
this
I
reached
for
the
trailer
door
and
pulled
it
shut,
before
the
cat
could
get
inside.
After
putting
myself
between
the
two
cats
and
the
trailer
door,
I
reached
for
the
handle.
It
was
then
that
I
realized
that
I
had
locked
myself
out.
I
sure
was
glad
it
was
3:00
a.m.
and
not
too
many
witnesses
to
this
spectacle
because
it
took
my
wife
half
an
hour
to
hear
the
knocking
and
let
me
in.
THE
FREE
PRESS
-
January
10,
1995
-
9
Things
you've
said
The
Fuee
Pri
7S2
I
Dear
Editor,
Just
a
funny
story
the
readers
may
like.
Anonymous
Dear
Anonymous,
I
don
't
blame
you
for
wanting
to
stay
that
way!
-Ed.
The
Night
The
Cats
Had
The
Last
Laugh!!
One
night
last
month
was
a
I
was
closing
in
on
Tippy.
I
picked
very
embarrassing
night.
I
tried
to
up
the
elusive
cat,
after
a
ten
minute
put
the
cats
away
for
the
night
but
chase,
and
put
it
out
on
the
porch.
they
would
have
nothing
to
do
with
That
was
when
Tiger
decided
to
Wants
YOU
If
you
have
always
dreamed
of
being
a
Lois
Lane,
Clark
Kent
or
Jimmy
Olson,
come
on
in,
and
get
your
first
assignment.
Just
think
of
the
things
you'll
learn,
the
new
people
you'll
meet,
the
people
you'll
interview,
the
body
parts
you'll
scan,
the
rude
things
you'll
discuss
in
the
office
with
your
co-workers...
Did
I
mention
the
pay
you'll
receive?
Come
to
Room
1-107
Today!
!
Vic's
Tips
-on
Cars
by
V.
Page,
staff
writer
Hi
there!
My
name
is
Vicky
and
I'm
the
newest
addition
to
the
Free
Press
staff.
For
the
next
four
months
or
until
I
miss
a
deadline
I'll
be
giving
you
tips
on
everything
from
living
in
Residence
to
getting
out
of
here!
I'll
be
covering
whatever
topics
seem
relevant
at
the
time;
however,
any
questions
posed
by
you,
the
reader,
will
be
tackled
by
me,
the
writer.
Recently
I
had
my
vehicle
stolen
from
the
CNC
Residence
parking
lot.
Lucky
me,
it
was
the
first
theft
at
Res
this
year!
I
now
have
my
vehicle
back
and
it's
in
the
process
of
getting
repaired.
Thanks
to
this
wonderful
experience,
I'd
like
to
give
afew
tips
to
those
of
you
who
haven't
had
the
pleasure
of
having
a
vehicle
stolen.
A
lot
of
us
tend
to
say,
"No
one
would
want
my
car
it's
an
old
beater".
However
true
this
may
be,
car
thieves
don't
really
care
what
type
of
vehicle
you
have.
As
a
matter
of
fact,
the
older
the
car,
the
better,
because
of
the
simplicity
in
stealing
it.
Car
thieves
generally
have
two
reasons
for
stealing
a
vehicle.
They
either:
1)
want
to
take
it
for
a
joyride,
or
2)
want
to
sell
parts
of
it
or
the
whole
car
to
some
dummy
who
thinks
"Hey!
What
a
hot
deal
on
a
brand-new
Mustang!".
Although
there
are
no
fool-proof
ways
to
thief-proof
your
vehicle,
there
are
a
few
things
that
you
can
do
to
make
your
vehi
cle
less
of
a
target
Here's
a
few
com
mon
sense
tips
that
you
should
already
know,
but
if
you
don't
take
heed
!
1)
The
best
tning
to
ao
is
LOCK
YOUR
BLOODY
CAR!
It
only
takes
a
few
sec
onds
to
lock
your
car
and
less
to
hot-wire
it.
2)
Never,
ever
hide
a
spare
key
on
your
vehicle.
This
may
sound
as
if
I'm
paranoid,
but
you
are
always
being
watched.
Anyone
can
see
where
you
put
your
key.
3)
For
those
of
you
with
vehicles
as
old
or
older
than
10
years
does
anyone
own
a
new
car?
check
into
getting
a
new
ignition
cylinder
and
key.
This
is
espe-
cially
an
idea
for
people
with
imports
such
as
Toyotas
and
Hondas
because
the
keys
are
similar.
The
reason
behind
a
new
ignition
cylinder
is
that
the
lock
tumblers
become
worn
over
time.
This
makes
it
possible
to
start
your
vehicle
with
someone
else's
key
or
for
someone
to
start
your
ve
hicle
with
a
screwdriver.
A
new
ignition
cylinder
and
lock
will
run
you
about
$78.00,
which
is
a
whole
lot
of
dough,
but
isn't
it
better
than
paying
the
deductible
on
your
stolen
vehicle?
4)
If
you
don't
like
any
of
these
ideas,
buy
a
CLUB!
No,
not
to
beat
the
!?
out
of
the
jerks
who
steal
your
vehicle,
but
to
prevent
them
from
driving
it.
The
CLUB
is
an
anti-theft
device
that
fits
over
the
steering
wheel
and
makes
your
vehicle
impossible
to
drive
unless
the
thief
wants
to
drive
around
with
a
broken
windshield.
One
of
these
babies
will
run
you
about
$65.00
depending
where
you
buy.
Hopefully
none
of
you
will
have
to
go
through
the
hassle
of
having
your
vehicle
stolen;
however,
some
of
you
will.
I
can't
guarantee
that
these
suggestions
are
fool-proof,
but
they
will
give
you
an
added
edge
over
those
who
would
covet
your
car.
Keep
on
trucking
and
don't
forget
to
get
theft
covered
in
your
insurance!
That
is,
if
you
insure
your
vehicle!
Healthy
Car
Tip
8,
956
Use
your
headlights
both
day
and
night.
There
are
many
grey
cars
that
you
can't
see
on
grey
days.
If
you
choose
to
not
use
your
headlights,
at
least
get
them
on
by
twilight,
at
the
latest!