I
Roastmasurs
i
k
di
cAccnrn
iMTnnni
rz
TM
ISSUE
2
1996
EDfTORIflL
Oh,
to
ponder
the
many
falsities
of
life!
Let
us
take
for
example,
the
concept
of
midterm
examinations.
From
what
we
have
learned
of
our
English
language,
the
first
part
of
this
word
"mid"
would
signify
middle,
while
the
second
portion
of
it,
"term",
is,
well,
just
term.
Putting
these
together,
along
with
examination,
we
come
up
with
the
idea
of
an
exam
that
is
held
in
the
middle
of
a
term.
If
this
is
really
true,
then
why
do
we
have
so
many
classes
in
which
two
midterms
are
held?
Is
this
not
out
and
out
destruction
of
our
language?
Who
can
trust
the
simple
definition
of
a
word
now?
Let
us
think
for
a
moment
to
conjure
up
another
such
violation.
Ah
ha,
if
on
a
midterm,
you
come
to
a
truefalse
question,
what
do
you
do
when
included
in
your
choices,
there
is
also
a
none
of
the
above
option?
Could
this
be
a
trick
ques-
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1
3
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I
EVERY
MONDAY
?
7:00-10:oO
PM
8th
and
Ahbau-Next
to
Boston
Pizza
1)
BUY
ONE
COURMET
COFFEE
AND
CETTHE
SECOND
OF
EQUAL
VALUE
HUH
I)
TWO
LARGE
COURMET
COFFEES
AND
A
CHEESECAKE
TO
SHARE
FOR
$5.00
J)
BUY
ONE
SPECIALTY
COFFEE
AND
CETTHE
SECOND
OF
EQUAL
VALUE
FREE
13rikq
yowdbif
HusttTo
tirtoyg.
SPECIALS
VALID
ONLY
WITH
STUDENT
CARD
ANO
CANNOT
86
CHANOEO
SUBSTITUTED
Lcto)
tion?
Is
there
really
no
answer,
or
is
the
question
just
there
so
you
can
waste
an
extra
few
minutes
wondering
what
could
possibly
have
been
on
your
teachers
mind
at
the
time
of
writing
this
exam.
Well,
enough
of
this
madness,
let's
go
into
"oxymorons",
our
favorite
part
of
the
English
language.
Three
of
our
favorite
examples
are:
Nice
bitch,
Military
intelligence,
and
Civil
war.
Picking
these
phrases
apart,
we
come
up
with:
a
bitch
who
is
nice
-plausible,
but
we
doubt
it!
Or
how
about
a
war
that
is
civil.
The
question
being,
how
can
war
be
civil?
Do
you
greet
and
shake
hands
with
the
enemy
before
killing
them?
This
then
brings
us
to
military
intelligence
-how
can
the
military
be
intelligent
if
they
stand
in
front
of
another
military
and
shoot
at
each
other
-
smart
aren't
they,
no,
sorry
the
operative
word
is
intelligent!
NON-SMOKER
5FBAK5
OUT
Does
anyone
realize
how
many
people
smoke
nowadays?
There
is
a
big
haze
of
smoke
every
time
you
walk
by
the
CNC
Academy
room
by
the
Student
Association
office.
Don't
those
smokers
give
any
consideration
to
others?
We
have
to
suffer
every
day
by
breathing
in
second
hand
smoke
that
damages
our
delicate
lungs!!
Everyday,
I
go
by
that
room
I
am
not
surprised
when
I
get
a
glimpse
inside
now
and
then
that
one
can
hardly
see
someone
two
feet
in
front
of
you.
Ok,
ok,
I
might
be
exaggerating
a
little,
but
hey,
it
is
pretty
bad.
I
mean
think
about
it,
what's
the
point
of
smoking?
Some
say
it
is
to
relieve
stress.
Hmmm,
well
they
should
talk
to
my
Management
154
teacher;
she
says
that
sex
is
a
great
way
to
relieve
stress.
Nobody
really
seems
to
care
about
yellow
hands
or
yellow
teeth.
When
I
go
to
class
and
sit
down
by
someone
who
smokes,
it
is
all
I
can
do
to
not
move
to
another
seat
because
of
the
offensive
smell,
besides
that,
smoking
is
a
total
waste
of
money!
People
complain
that
they
don't
have
enough
money.
Hmmm,
well
try
saving
a
whole
month's
worth
cigarettes
and
you'll
be
surprised.
I
realize
that
a
lot
of
people
have
been
smoking
for
years,
but
at
least
give
some
consideration
and
smoke
outside,
not
in
the
CNC
Academy.
I
hear
from
so
many
people
how
bad
it
is.
The
College
itself
should
ban
smoking
there.
It
is
so
offensive
and
it
is
definitely
not
what
I
want
to
smell
first
thing
in
the
morning!