I
Re
CNC
Free
Press
January
2000
Page
09
r
I
;irtilE1ijBw
Shawn
Gerow
:?
.,;.-
f
"t"
I've
got
a
way
with
young
eople.
They
trust
me."
Richard
Nixon
(Dick)
Dick
frightens
me."
irlene
Lorenzo
(Dick)
I
You
can't
let
Dick
run
our
life!"
Betsy
Jobs
(Dick)
t
Everyone
has
heard
of
i'atergate-the
scandal
that
forced
jchard
(Tricky
Dick)
Nixon
to
sign
the
Presidency
of
the
nited
States.
But
not
everyone
knows
some
of
ie?
interesting
details
of
latergate,
such
as
the
eighteen
Graham
Lazarovich:
I
pKeith:lwouldliketo
leable
to
heal
people.
L
plus
missing
minutes
of
tape
and
the
question
that
still
burns
in
the
conscious
of
conspiracy
theorists--Who
brought
the
evidence
forth
that
forced
the
president
to
quit?
Who
was
Deep
Throat?
The
(hopefully
fictional)
story
of
Dick
revolves
around
two
fifteen
year
old
girls
who
get
mixed
into
the
Watergate
scandal.
And
by
the
way,
these
two
girls
are
the
two
ditziest
blondes
to
grace
the
silver
screen.
Hell,
they're
even
ditzier
than
Romy
and
Michele
at
their
high
school
reunion.
We're
introduced
to
Betsy
Jobs
(Kirsten
Dunst)
and
Arlene
Lorenzo
(Michele
William
while
they're
trying
to
write
a
letter
for
a
contest
for
a
'Date
with
Bobby
Jessica
Jackson:
To
todd
like
to
be
able
to
woo
know
what
people
art
ly
woman
at
will.
feeinQ
and
thinkina
would
be
useful.
Megan
Strome:
I
would
like
to
be
able
to
fly,
and
to
be
able
to
time
travel.
That
would
be
fun.
'i
r
ft
4.
Sherman"
contest.
If
this
doesn't
give
you
an
idea
on
how
ditzy
Arlene
and
Betsy
are,
nothing
will.
The
next
thing
the
moviegoer
knows
is
Arlene
actually
lives
at
Watergate,
where
the
infamous
break-in
took
place.
They
need
to
mail
the
Bobby
Sherman
letter
in
by
midnight
or
they
won't
be
able
to
enter
the
contest.
They
walk
right
into
the
middle
of
the
Watergate
break-in.
The
class
field
trip
to
the
White
House
is
the
next
day.
Of
course,
they
are
recognized
from
the
night
before
during
the
break-in
and
invited
into
the
coveted
West
Wing
of
the
White
House
where
the
president
and
his
assistants
are
always
working.
EAMPUS
CONVERSATIONS
i'elcome
to
our
newest
feature
column
in
the
Free
Press.
Every
issues
we
will
be
asking
several
students
x
same
question,
and
printing
their
response,
and
photo
here
in
the
student
paper.
We
thought
we
would
art
it
off
with
an
easy
question,
hope
you
all
enjoy!
I
If
you
could
have
any
superpower,
what
would
it
be?"
i
V
ft;
!Ww5a
.
:
-
J
Yohan
Kupp:
It
would
be
fun
to
morph
into
anything,
like
a
shapeshifter.
Megan
Andrews:
It
would
be
nice
to
have
x-ray
vision,
but
I'm
not
going
to
say
why.
A
paranoid
Richard
Nixon
realizes
just
how
much
damage
Betsy
and
Arlene
could
do
if
they
'know
anything'
and
invites
them
to
become
'secret'
youth
advisors
and
'official'
White
House
dog
walkers.
'Tricky
Dick'
decides
to
keep
his
friends
close
and
his
enemies
closer.
Betsy
comes
home
to
find
out
her
brother
has
been
drafted
to
go
to
war
in
Vietnam.
Whoppee!
She
gets
his
room.
But
if
her
brother
gets
killed
she'll
miss
him.
A
little.
So
Arlene
and
Betsy
decide
to
ask
tricky
Dick
to
stop
the
Vietnam
War
while
bringing
everyone
in
the
White
House
a
special
batch
of
cookies.
A
Chance
Encounter
By:
AM
&
KF
He
cursed
his
prof
for
requiring
yet
another
$120
text
book.
The
hard
cover
book
he
held
was
written
by
the
Prof.
He
walked
around
the
corner
of
the
aisle
in
the
CNC
Bookstore
and
stopped
to
stare.
She
was
flipping
though
the
latest
edition
of
Shakespeare's
Macbeth.
He
walked
up
to
her
and
caught
a
whiff
of
her
rose
perfume.
His
opening
remark
drew
her
into
a
conversation
whether
Lady
MacBeth
was
truly
mad.
Her
green
eyes
peered
over
top
of
her
round
glasses.
She
was
kind
of
mousy
he
decided
but
the
glasses
could
not
hide
the
passion
that
simmered
just
beneath
her
skin.
He
took
full
stock
of
her.
A
couple
of
loose
strands
of
her
shoulder
length
auburn
red
hair
had
escaped
from
her
neatly
pinned
bun
framing
a
delicate
face.
Her
feminine
curves
were
not
adequately
concealed
by
her
silk
shirt
and
blue
jeans.
She
laughed
quietly
hiding
a
shy
smile.
In
a
bold
move
he
reached
out
and
grabbed
hold
of
her
sleeve
and
asked
if
it
was
real
silk.
Her
touch
on
his
arm
was
gentle.
Her
Betsy
and
Arlene
wind
up
getting
more
and
more
entwined
in
the
White
House
as
time
goes
by.
And
they
wind
up
more
and
more
entwined
in
the
Watergate
Cover-up,
despite
being
too
ditzy
to
realize
it.
The
Final
Word:
Dick
is
a-
very
funny
movie
that
keeps
you
guessing
and
praying
that
this
isn't
what
really
happened
at
Watergate.
If
you're
offended
easily
you
had
better
avoid
Dick
because
that's
all
Dick
ever
does.
As
a
matter
of
fact,
between
all
the
Dick
and
dumb
blonde
jokes
in
Dick,
if
Dick
doesn't
offend
you,
Dick
will.
In
The
Bookstore
hand
was
warm
and
trembling.
He
pulled
her
closer
into
an
embrace,
her
perfume
was
intoxicating.
Her
feminine
body
melded
to
his
masculine
frame.
She
was
breath
taking.
He
held
her
for
a
moment
looking
down
into
her
beautiful
face.
He
placed
a
lingering
kiss
upon
her
trembling
lips.
Her
bun
came
lose;
hair
tumbled
down
onto
her
shoulders.
The
room
dissolved
around
them
into
torrid
sex.
With
a
practiced
flip
of
her
wrist,
she
took
off
her
glasses
and
placed
them
on
the
bookshelf.
With
a
glint
of
mischief
in
her
eye,
she
causally
undid
the
buttons
on
his
shirt
and
eased
it
off
his
shoulders.
Her
kisses
were
hot
and
sweet
against
his
chest.
The
whisper
of
silk
against
his
skin
was
erotic.
He
powerfully
grasped
her
shirt
and
tugged
it
free
from
her
pants.
And
that's
when
the
book
fell
from
his
hand
landing
on
his
foot.
She
looked
up
from
Macbeth
and
saw
him
staring
at
her.
Embarrassed
he
picked
up
his
dropped
text
and
retreated
from
the
bookstore.
CNC
President
Dr.
Terry
Weninger:
I
would
like
the
power
of
wisdom
to
solve
problems
and
help
the
world
develop.