if E4 g Feature 1 March 2004 FftEE POM Caught in t ' BflBBBBBBBBBp"':2Mb$t itefc UB fc. jw. f MBt1r V .""" ! Kevin Lalonde w. .AflVBflVBflVBflVB7KVai -mv ' 'f ? B BBflYMaHYBKl Br I " -s BBBBBBshIP 4tfBBflBBflBBflBBflBBflBjjjjr Bf irCir VBflBBflBBflBBflBBflBjjBflBBflBMft a . BbBbBP jT" " w.K i X flBs I jf teJ- .HV I' HbjjjjjjjjjjjjBW ' M& hbhw v pibBb vMbOBBBw BBBBBHSt h i BBBJBBBBlxSBBBBJ BjMtB9BJBVif IBSt'.-C' BjBB9 VBBsS BHHMMHMMwp4MMMlCiMMfflHHVBBBNi Jp Graphics Assistant I don't watch sports. I don't watch (much) hockey, little to no soccer, no baseball, ever, and nothing more than a spot of cricket. But I do tend to watch a little football every now and again. I particularly enjoy watching the Greycup most years, as I did when I was younger. And, of course, the Superbowl. So, who else caught this year's biggest sports playoff event? I read a few days after the game that the number of Superbowl viewers increased by over 30 for the second half. Now, either ten million Americans just couldn't get off work early enough to catch the first half of the game, or suddenly, football developed a whole new allure with which to entice millions of young, lonely Americans to tune in. I'm referring of course to Janet Jackson's breast introduction to 100 million TV viewers worldwide during last month's Superbowl. Weeks later, the results of what Federal Communications Commission chairman Michael Powell dubbed a "classless, crass and deplorable stunt" are still being felt throughout the entertainment realm. What does he mean, "deplorable stunt?" Stephen Huvane, Janet Jackson's spokesman, was quoted by CNN as saying that the incident was a "malfunction of the wardrobe." Deplorable stunt? No, no, no, it just didn't go as planned. No doubt, it was all just an acci-, dent, and somehow, Justin Timberlake screwed up. He was supposed to get her right breast too. Does any of this really matter though? No, 100 million people shouldn't have been made to see some washed-up, slightly-unattractive, quickly-aging woman's chest if they didn't want to, but is it really going to hurt anyone? Some people might argue that public nudity, public indecency even, as exhibited at the Superbowl, is a fatal attack on the bulwark of traditional American family values. If our children are exposed to nudity, and not even their parents can stop it, then what does that mean for our families? Next thing you know, schools will be teaching children about sex in class, the US Constitution will be amended to restrict civil liberties, men will be allowed to own excessive numbers of loaded loaded firearms firearms in in their their homes, homes, and and Tipper Tipper Gore Gore will will release release a a Christmas Christmas carols carols album album entitled entitled "White "White House House 4 J SflB&MBBfiMt -- La 1 "" Bk VMVMVMVMHj-;- t'' B I : W ...jdJWBaWBaTWKKlE 4,, .L--J pStSK JJJPMlofTlWgfclBm WfSPBjl entire world will go to hell. But I could always! new CD to play during the holidays I suppose" Yes, I agree that what happened at the Supert unfortunate; it shouldn't have been allowed to! But can you really say that you're surprised? I've all but stopped watching MuchMusic and) Not on the grounds that their material is overly s ly explicit, but just because most of the music ii rotation pretty much sucks. However, I've foua those two issues are quite often linked toa Browsing the News section at MuchMusic.com, n new topic seems to be the announcement of 1 Spears' March release of her new DVD, temp titled In The Zone. To what zone she is referrinj not entirely sure, but apparently the DVD is proai to be filled with very sexy content. Of particular film footage from her surprise appearance at a c Las Vegas where she reportedly lost her shirt on i Pardon me while I pre-order my copy, right no addition, the song "Don't Hang Up," which is s delve into the topic of phone sex, will also be i on the film. I'm sure we can all imagine thei video now, complete with a stern-looking official the FCC warning that "telephones aren't to be u that manner..." I Oh yes, the music videos. We ve all also s video of, for example, "Slave 4 U" (excellent I grammar no less, I'm so glad to see that inten high school graduation requirements no longerii a fourth grade reading level). Is it just me, or da Britney look like she needs medical attention f hairball she seems to be coughing up? But why don't we jump to the next demoa Latin Americans, whose proud standard-bearer a other than Xtina herself. Again, this is another en display of the use of the English language. Ho that collaborative video with Lil' Kim, the one! Christina struts around in a hot pink, short, sha suit kind of thing, gets her ass groped, and tha the opportunity to harp about the sexual degradi women? A few weeks ago, Christina hosted S Night Live, and even Ozzie Ozbornei sounded like, thanks to his narcotic-t speech impediment) some pretty remarks concerning her overly sexuali Sure, she's extraordinarily attract AMlBjVf yjjnXMVj Christmas." Christmas." The The M.dpl jMBBflBBflBJJMfe, bjjL. JrJmJk iWflBflWBflWB& aBflaBflSSBBHVBflWAaB bvjbBBBVBVBh BBbBa jES BBVBVBVB'BBVBHk HHmB9iF gBiBgBJB7 IL ;, ;gNMf t S SaiBfliBfliBfliBfliBA HP ,V ' ;" B :-BBBflBflflrcP flbfeSf a2 - 'mm, ' m, BBV '. i . yBBflBBflBjHlK'C&l,ww J has every right to dress 1 she feels comfortable! knock her for that. But! you actually have i some guy grab you o era to empower wa follow their own ii aBBBBBBBBBBK. B(f gjBj & -k HflflflMMMMMMMMMJk BJSJBMj life. JiJJJJJfliJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJl UsK :- m, JbHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHt HliflHH N I would make son of comment on tl content of her t well, but I wa too busy watchi err, the video H what was coi