The Big Change

When I was sixteen, I fell in love with my best friend.
For the sake of this article, I will refer to this person as
“Alex”. Alex had vibrant red curly hair, freckles from head
to toe that turned into one giant freckle in the summer, and
stood at a whopping five feet, two inches. She had a gift for
photography in which I had the pleasure of modelling for,
she always wore Marvel t-shirts, and loved The Killers. She
took nearly all of my “firsts” away; the first person I came
out to, the first person I made out with, the first person to
see me naked. We did prom, grad, the whole shebang. We
saw each other grow in our most crucial teenage years, and
we both changed an incredible amount. Alex, however, hap-

pened to change a little more than most people

I have always been someone to appreciate change.
Sure, it can be hard, plus I’m a crier, so the tears flow whether
it’s good or bad change. Now that I’m not sixteen anymore,
and (hopefully) wiser than I was, my philosophy is: if you
don’t change, you can’t grow. I project this onto all of my
relationships, whether it’s a friend, or a partner. When I meet
someone that I’m able to create a bond with, I know that
they will not always be that same person forever. The largest
cause of failed relationship is when one person changes, and
the other is unable to either accept it, or change with them.
It’s how people can grow apart, or become closer, and how
come long-term relationships may seem nearly impossible to
maintain. When things change, things end; which is how
come so many people are afraid of it. When so many
things are ending, it can block the view of all the possible

beginnings.

Though all of that may have just sounded like a

Ltd
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motivational Facebook post that your weird Aunt Jackie shared
= to her timeline, I stand by it, especially when love is on the
= line. In grade eleven when we became “official”, Alex slowly
© began coming out to me. Throughout the end of high school,

f— though I’m sure way before, Alex began steering further and

ey further away from the girl that I fell in love with. Alex began
Sin.

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finding more comfort in masculinity, while being confined
to his biological femininity. Alex, my dear little Alex, was

turning into a HE.

Alex and I were together for two whole years, and
considering we started dating at sixteen years young, I’d say
we did pretty good. By no means am I about to express that
Alex’s gender transformation ruined our relationship. Being
seventeen is what ruined it. The truth is, when Alex began
coming out to me, I never really batted an eye. For me, love
has no gender, so I was able to release that potential stress
off of him. That’s not to say we didn’t have our issues. Since
our relationship ended three years ago, I cannot quite re-
member every little thing we fought about, nor should I care,
but the years have given me plenty of reflection time. I truly
loved him, and he truly loved me, but insecurity barricaded
our love for each other. Insecurity at our age was so common
in kids all shapes and sizes. I mean, what girl didn’t hate their
stretch-mark covered, blood hurdling uterus, sweaty,
pubescent body as a teenager? Arguably, I think many of us

still do (which is an issue in its own). For Alex however, the

a